1. |
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everything has an origin, colossal and microscopic
even if we're not sure what it is
we might come from nothing, but i doubt it's that simple
we might be fabrications trapped in our imaginations
we could be the offspring of explosions
it's hard to believe in anything
when chaos is all we've ever known
that's why it's inherent to feel so empty
and we listen to the legends they pass down and we concur
so we don't have to be alone
you're cascading but your light isn't fading
you're still candescent in your destruction
there's nothing but brilliance in your combustion
drowning in waves, miles away
i think i can (almost) see the shore
this is a dream stuck on replay
this shipwreck, this driftwood, that harbor
i feel like i have weathered this storm before
gasping for air, no refuge
the water that has capsized me
and brought us this immense deluge
gives me life and floods me with deja vu
of a halcyon memory
the future is so uncertain
i get paralyzed with overwhelming fear
i'm lost in my thoughts and i've lost where i think i should be
i've lost who i am and i've lost another year
as many times as we've seen it through
there's no telling what tomorrow brings
always making mountains out of molehills
i never knew i was wrong about so many things
we're all slowly dying, mostly from the suspense
waiting and wondering
when will anything make any sense?
and even now when it's so hard
there's some kind of strange beauty in all of this
we can believe everything's for a reason
but it's hard to keep sight of the light in this darkness
this is what you get when you put your faith in something so abstract:
unanswered questions
that beg for resolution
will be our downfall
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2. |
Crystal Clear
03:49
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waiting for words that wont ever come
who are you to waste my time?
wondering why i feel so numb
and how nothing feels real
thinking of where and when i went wrong
it’s been so long it’s hard (to know)
it's been so long from what we used to be
its been so long that i can’t let go
months can pass without our paths crossing
and slowly but surely the intensity disappears
but the instant your voice dances through my mind
i am revived with this surge of hope and fear
everything i do to try and bring myself salvation
ends up making things worse
i want to forget the time i’ve lost and move on
but i’m constantly trapped by different versions of you
there’s so much to say that i don’t know where to start
and i’m scared i’ll end up like every other story you tell
we should have known that the sun and the clouds
wouldn’t always hold together
we slowly found out that everything ends
no matter what the weather
even though you have your death grip holding onto
the thing with feathers
and in the end what do i have to show
for all of my endeavors?
let’s postpone the inevitable one more time
for good measure
and even if we survive the collapse of our sun
we will not survive forever
your smile sends strange vibrations
through my troubled soul
your eyes scream what i need you to say
and make me take mine off the goal
dream about ways to show you
everything i feel inside
wake up, bite my tongue
oh well at least i tried
you will no longer define my existence
except in instances in which i forget
that without you i wouldn’t be who i am right now
and that’s the reason i won’t surrender you yet
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3. |
Plans
04:30
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i’ve drawn out maps and pictures and figures
of what i think my life should be
i’ve plotted graphs and constructed charts
for my goals and expectations
and all the to do lists i write
and all the quiet aspirations i keep inside
have me struggling to not feel quite so complacent
nothing at this point is how it sounded in the ad
and the world’s not waiting on me to stop playing pretend
i almost don’t feel anything when you shatter me with your gaze
i’m just standing still while you transcend
tomorrow has gotten here so fast
and it doesn’t feel like any time has passed
and the future is just some abstract idea
yesterday has come and gone
and it won’t be soon before long
we’ll be toasting away another year
nothing so far is how it sounded in the ad
and the world’s not waiting on me to stop playing pretend
i almost don’t feel anything when you shatter me with your gaze
i’m just standing still while you transcend
and i am finally starting to see
that plans are so arbitrary
they haven’t gotten me anywhere so far
tell me what’s the point
in worrying about things out of my control
it’s hard enough trying to shoot for par
i spent so much time trying not to get left behind
and now i just want to be where you are
tomorrow has gotten here so fast
and it doesn’t feel like anytime has passed
and the future’s never been so clear
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4. |
The Warmth
03:48
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your memory resonates within me
like an immersed scream
unless they’re right about reality
being one really long dream
a melody that rings out from my mind
an echo filled with static
your warmth crushes my concept of time
forever feels like an elapsed instant
walls of words that i’ve saved up inside
are about to collapse any minute
and bury me underneath
a convulsion of your cacophony
i get distracted by your dexterity; your ease never ceases to astound
this abyss is yet to take form
first the earthquake then the flood
bloodshed will be forgot in the ensuing storm
left in the cataclysmic wake
of your overwhelming downpour
letting you freely flow was my first mistake
mesmerized by all your sights and sounds
my senses are about to overflow
your infectious refrain colors the most vivid pictures in my brain
i’ve repeatedly retraced the outline of your waist
and your lingering taste should have dissolved long ago
why can’t i transcend your eyes and envelop you in an eclipse?
how can i erase you from my mind when i can’t even get your flavor off my lips?
the current’s finally calm, the water stopped its thrashing
but the recollection of your scent sends tremors through me again
the words you whisper waltz through my dreams
evaporating all my oceans of optimism
into empty brooks and streams
we forget every day how small we are
but maybe this phenomenon is all we are
eternity spans only this moment
can i ever feel something besides empty?
we are always moving forward and evolving
but you are all i see
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5. |
Limbo
05:04
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I forget to exist
because i see myself as a shell of you
something not so out of the question:
“is this lack of self awareness yours or mine?”
and i am left like an impression
in the abstruse of your mind
where my ideas and memories and values and truth
are floating in limbo
you take away all of my insecurities
but you leave me with no defense
and you give me an excuse to think with my heart
when this dissension gets too intense
but when will anything make any sense?
the whole is greater than the sum of its parts
everything seems so heavy
when you’re the only one holding the weight
everything used to not be so frail
but we didn’t notice until it was too late
but everything is a fluid concept
whose moistness makes me corrode
we are energy that cannot be created or destroyed
but that doesn’t mean that we can’t implode
and after we collapse
there’s no telling what tomorrow brings
it’s that same beautiful and terrible ambivalence
that makes me think
ain’t life grand in the grand scheme of things?
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6. |
Begging the Question
06:01
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if we are all just victims in a series of accidents
how is it you make me feel so inadequate
i never would have guessed that you would be my catalyst
now can someone please tell me where all my time went?
it seems like only yesterday our lives were worry free
but these days go by just like a blur to me
concerned with the future, it’s so far from my grasp
and here in the present i am forgetting my past
all of our choices speak volumes, made with clouded vision
were the stars aligned? or could we have avoided this collision?
i want to coexist with the world like oil and water
but everyone has a different definition of religion
i want to matter in this life in case it’s my last one
but i have no idea where to begin
or where i’m going or who i am or how i’m doing
but i’ll lie to your face if you’re asking how i’ve been
if our body is just the apparatus
that gets us from points A to B
what does it say about us?
and we’re too short sighted to see
only after it rains down Armageddon
and once our egos have melted
can we conquer this stream of consciousness
and let our souls finally be free
i can’t understand the words you speak
even though we say the same things
we both want what’s best for the world
but we pledge allegiance to different kings
our quarrel is not with each other
but there’s no one else to blame
and if it has to be either you or me
how can we be one and the same?
we’re wasting our time with worries of such trivial things
i want to drown myself in what’s important to me
everything circles back around to real love
we are here right now, we are alive, and that is enough
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